I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this blog in two years. When I started, I swore to myself that I would give the South Delhi-Gurgaon audience the privilege that I was denied -- relatability of being a gay male in this part of India. I want to be able to tell you my stories so that you can say, "thank god I'm not the only one." But alas, I've been terrible at doing that. That should change though! Maybe I won't update this blog until 2017 now, but I'm doing it today and I'm gonna do it right. So I apologize for my disappearing act, but like Houdini, I'm back when all hope seemed lost.
First update is that I started attending college in the US which should have a blog for itself really. This is not the place to discuss my life there, but let's just say that every time I come back in the vacations I have a little fun of my own. I also happen to be pleasantly surprised because the number of gay men on Grindr are increasing exponentially every time I visit home. Now I travel less and less to hook up with someone, whether we go all the way or we just make out and then go to our respective homes. I think Grindr has been really helpful, because there usually turns out to be one guy out of the 200 displayed on your screen who you end up being friends with in the long term. I think today I'll talk about my experience with this one guy who I really like and who I met in the winter of 2013 (so very shortly after I wrote my previous post).
I'll be hiding a lot of identifying factors, so the names and places may be made up.
So I was still 18 and this guy, I'm gonna call him Amir because I like the actor, messaged me on Grindr with a English that was a little fancy and a profile picture that showed a cute guy. Apparently he had just turned 19 and I was extremely excited that there was a gay male who wasn't 30 years older than I was but the same age! It was a weird kind of happiness at that time because gay teens were as rare as invisible unicorns. Anyway, we got to talking and he told me he went to college in another city in India and was back for the Christmas holidays and we hit it off so well that we were texting each other pretty soon after that.
A couple of days later I found out that we had a few mutual friends, and that he was going to be at the same New Years' Party that I was. At this point we had been continuing a friendly conversation and nothing relating to dating or sex had come up. We were both pretty excited to be meeting at this neutral location where we could hang out and get to know each other more. I was nervous because I had developed a little crush on this guy. When I went to the party I saw him standing there with some of my friends and the nervousness I had about not being able to have the same chemistry we have over texting in person vanished almost immediately. We just spent time with each other for hours and gradually got more and more drunk. At midnight we kissed. I don't remember who came onto whom first, but we were in a room where no one else was and one of us made full use of that opportunity. It was one of the best kisses of my life.
Soon after that we both left and went to my house, where I told my mom that there was no taxi and that my friend couldn't go back home to West Delhi at 2 in the morning. We ended up sleeping together on my bed. I say sleeping, but I'm pretty sure we both must have collectively slept for half an hour before he left early in the morning to catch it flight to his college.
After that I didn't see him until the winter of 2014, where for the seven days he was in Delhi I saw him every day. We made out a little, but mostly we hung out together, talked a lot, ate a lot of meals, and just generally kept each other company. Never before, and not now after, have I been so intimate with another guy in a way that is as unintimate as possible. Now I won't see him for another 5 months and I haven't seen him this year at all, but we keep talking, knowing that there's something special between us.
I end this long post that was rushed towards the end because right now I have to leave to go buy groceries and I want to post this before I go with a little message to all my single non-heterosexual readers: you too will find someone. I have another date with a new guy this week, hopefully I'll post something about it if it does materialize, but I remember not too long ago when I was talking to all these guys on Grindr who had been in at least one relationship. I, til date, have never had a boyfriend. I probably would have had, had I been in the same city as the Amir, but alas, that's not how it was meant to be.
First update is that I started attending college in the US which should have a blog for itself really. This is not the place to discuss my life there, but let's just say that every time I come back in the vacations I have a little fun of my own. I also happen to be pleasantly surprised because the number of gay men on Grindr are increasing exponentially every time I visit home. Now I travel less and less to hook up with someone, whether we go all the way or we just make out and then go to our respective homes. I think Grindr has been really helpful, because there usually turns out to be one guy out of the 200 displayed on your screen who you end up being friends with in the long term. I think today I'll talk about my experience with this one guy who I really like and who I met in the winter of 2013 (so very shortly after I wrote my previous post).
I'll be hiding a lot of identifying factors, so the names and places may be made up.
So I was still 18 and this guy, I'm gonna call him Amir because I like the actor, messaged me on Grindr with a English that was a little fancy and a profile picture that showed a cute guy. Apparently he had just turned 19 and I was extremely excited that there was a gay male who wasn't 30 years older than I was but the same age! It was a weird kind of happiness at that time because gay teens were as rare as invisible unicorns. Anyway, we got to talking and he told me he went to college in another city in India and was back for the Christmas holidays and we hit it off so well that we were texting each other pretty soon after that.
A couple of days later I found out that we had a few mutual friends, and that he was going to be at the same New Years' Party that I was. At this point we had been continuing a friendly conversation and nothing relating to dating or sex had come up. We were both pretty excited to be meeting at this neutral location where we could hang out and get to know each other more. I was nervous because I had developed a little crush on this guy. When I went to the party I saw him standing there with some of my friends and the nervousness I had about not being able to have the same chemistry we have over texting in person vanished almost immediately. We just spent time with each other for hours and gradually got more and more drunk. At midnight we kissed. I don't remember who came onto whom first, but we were in a room where no one else was and one of us made full use of that opportunity. It was one of the best kisses of my life.
Soon after that we both left and went to my house, where I told my mom that there was no taxi and that my friend couldn't go back home to West Delhi at 2 in the morning. We ended up sleeping together on my bed. I say sleeping, but I'm pretty sure we both must have collectively slept for half an hour before he left early in the morning to catch it flight to his college.
After that I didn't see him until the winter of 2014, where for the seven days he was in Delhi I saw him every day. We made out a little, but mostly we hung out together, talked a lot, ate a lot of meals, and just generally kept each other company. Never before, and not now after, have I been so intimate with another guy in a way that is as unintimate as possible. Now I won't see him for another 5 months and I haven't seen him this year at all, but we keep talking, knowing that there's something special between us.
I end this long post that was rushed towards the end because right now I have to leave to go buy groceries and I want to post this before I go with a little message to all my single non-heterosexual readers: you too will find someone. I have another date with a new guy this week, hopefully I'll post something about it if it does materialize, but I remember not too long ago when I was talking to all these guys on Grindr who had been in at least one relationship. I, til date, have never had a boyfriend. I probably would have had, had I been in the same city as the Amir, but alas, that's not how it was meant to be.
